An American mom living in “fight or flight” hasn’t looked back on her decision to move her family to Europe for good.
Marae, 35, and her husband Roger Torrelier, 40, dreamed of living abroad after years of full-time travel with their eldest daughter, but because their families were U.S.-based, they kept coming home.
The Torreliers lived in over seven states—including Hawaii, California, Texas, Florida, Montana and Alaska—but Marae told Newsweek that the catalyst was when their now 5-year-old approached school age.
“We knew we didn’t want to stay,” Marae said. “I didn’t want to worry about her going to school and not coming back.”
Marae clarified this is due to the lack of gun laws to protect children after so many incidents.
The mom of two, who creates family travel content on Instagram (@bravefamilytravel), posted a reel about their move from the U.S., and told users that her stress levels had dropped by 80 percent since leaving.
She wrote on the text overlay how it took moving out of the U.S. to realize that a stranger approaching her baby doesn’t have to send her into “fight or flight” mode.
“This is the way it should be,” she wrote in her caption.
Now settled in Malaga, Spain with their daughter and one-year-old after a brief stint in Italy, the mom of two said it’s a genuine shift in her daily life and peace of mind.
“I just feel much more at ease, and it’s not just about safety, but about life in general with little kids,” Marae told Newsweek.
In the U.S., she often felt that families, especially those with small children, were treated as burdens in public spaces.
“We’ve encountered venues that even refuse children, whereas in Europe and Asia, children are welcomed almost everywhere,” she explained.
In her new home on the Spanish coast, Marae said life is more relaxed and family-centric.
“Playgrounds have cafés so you can have a coffee, a meal or drink while the kids play,” she told Newsweek. “People often interact with our kids with kindness, neighbors know them and ask about them.”
This cultural embrace of family life has created a sense of belonging Marae didn’t often feel back in the States.
“Kids have preferential or free fares in public transport, museums, amusement parks, and activities are super affordable,” she said. “Schools are safe, and your social contributions and taxes [cover] of childcare and medical needs, so I never stress if my kids are sick.”
For other American parents contemplating a similar move, Marae told Newsweek that it’s valid to seek out a lifestyle that aligns with how parents want to raise their children. For her and Roger, that was Europe.
“It’s easy to see the grass greener on the other side, and I don’t think moving to another country solves all problems,” she said. “If that is moving to Europe, like it was for our family, I can’t say enough good things because for the first time in my adult life I just feel like life makes sense.”
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