A man’s refusal to attend his younger sister’s graduation has split the internet.
The 28-year-old man and original poster (OP), Reddit user No-Description-9170, explained on r/AITAH how a “complicated” relationship with his sister, 24, had shaped his decision to skip the event.
In his post, the OP recounted how growing up alongside his high-achieving sibling had led to feelings of inadequacy. While his sister excelled academically, earning a scholarship to a prestigious university, he struggled and eventually dropped out of college.
Sibling Rivalry
“It created this unspoken tension where I always felt like the “disappointment” in the family, even though no one said it outright,” the OP noted.
Now, with his sister preparing to graduate with honors, his parents have been pressuring him to attend.
However, events at a family gathering two years ago have left him reluctant to attend.
The OP wrote, “Two years ago, during a family gathering, she made a joke about how I “finally found something I’m good at” when I got a promotion at my job.
“She said it in front of everyone, and while she insists it was just playful banter, it felt like she was undermining my achievements.”
Adding to his desire to skip the graduation was the absence of a personal invitation from his sister.
“It’ll drive a permanent wedge between us”
“I feel like I’d just be a prop in this celebration, not someone she genuinely wants there,” he explained.
“I told my parents I don’t want to go, and they’re furious. They think I’m being selfish and letting past issues ruin what should be a happy occasion. My mom even said that if I skip this, it’ll drive a permanent wedge between us.
“Part of me wonders if I’m being too sensitive, but another part feels like I shouldn’t have to put myself in an uncomfortable situation for the sake of appearances.”
Redditors shared mixed reactions via the comments, with one writing, “I totally get why you’re feeling conflicted. It sounds like there’s a lot of unspoken tension between you and your sibling…the fact that she hasn’t even directly invited you to her graduation makes it feel like you’re not really a part of the celebration.”
Another urged the OP to address the issue directly with his sister: “I’m really sorry man but you’re an adult. Either there’s more going on, or you’re just petty, and don’t take this the wrong way.
“Based on what you’ve written, you didn’t really try to communicate with her yourself as well…”
“So you feel less than and blame her for it and then want to be petty because you’re jealous,” one Redditor noted. “Got it.”
Family Feuds
According to Newsweek, sibling relationships can sometimes feel strained, often due to unresolved issues from childhood. It’s not uncommon for these old resentments to bubble up during important life events.
In one similar case, family tensions boiled over when a sibling refused to attend another’s wedding, citing long-held grievances.
Research highlighted by Newsweek suggests that societal pressure often forces family members to participate in events despite personal discomfort, which can make matters worse rather than help resolve them.
Newsweek has contacted No-Description-9170 comment via Reddit.
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