When one couple left Ohio for a new life in Puerto Rico, they expected sunshine, beaches and mountain views. What they did not expect were calls and messages from distant acquaintances hoping to turn their home into a free vacation spot.
The original poster (OP), user bored1413, shared their story on Reddit, explaining that after moving to Puerto Rico a few years ago, they began to see an increase in requests from people they barely knew asking to stay with them.
“It’s incredibly annoying, and I always feel like an [a******] when I make up an excuse as to why we can’t host them when in reality we’re private people who don’t want our lives uprooted for a week or two playing host,” the OP wrote.
They pointed out that hosting visitors for extended stays often means planning activities, providing food and rearranging their own routine.
The latest request—from a cousin they have spoken to only a few times in more than two decades—was the straw that finally broke the camel’s back.
According to the post, the cousin called asking if he and his wife could stay at the couple’s home while visiting Puerto Rico.
Despite declining the request because of other plans, the OP received a Facebook message months later asking if she, the cousin and two additional friends could stay at their house for a week.
“I don’t understand how people have the audacity to feel entitled enough to ask for something like this,” the OP wrote. “I don’t even enjoy hosting close friends and family, much less people I barely know.”
Reddit users flocked to the comments to weigh in, with one advising, “When people call to ask, just tell them that since you moved, you’ve had dozens of requests to visit, many from people you barely know.
“If you accommodated everyone, you’d be exhausted and broke, so you are regretfully declining all such entreaties in the interest of protecting your sanity.”
Another remarked, “I would hesitate to ask my sister that [and I talk to her] once a week. Much less a pretty much stranger.”
The Importance of Boundaries
Psychology experts say situations like this often revolve around personal limits and the difficulty many people feel when turning down requests.
According to Elizabeth Scott, PhD, writing for Verywell Mind, “Saying no establishes boundaries: Boundaries demonstrate what you are willing to accept… and how you expect to be treated.”
She added that agreeing to requests out of obligation can lead to stress and resentment, particularly when people feel overextended.
‘Not responsible’
Advice from relationship and parenting resource TalkinSleep similarly stresses that declining requests is not the same as being unkind.
“You are not responsible [for making] other people feel better,” the site states, noting that people are responsible for being respectful but do not have to agree to requests that make them uncomfortable.
As for the OP, they don’t plan on replying to the latest message asking to stay at their home, though they expect the couple may call again.
“If they have the nerve to call again, I’m just going to lay it out for them, even if it hurts their feelings,” they added.
Newsweek has reached out to bored1413 for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.
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