A woman explaining why she has saved a homemade sauce for four years has gone viral on TikTok, gathering 2.5 million views.
Hanna Kim (@becominghanna) shared a video of herself holding an almost empty jar of gochujang—a Korean condiment—on June 28. She explained, “this is what grief looks like.”
During the clip, Kim, 36, explained it was the last batch her mom Kyung, 72, made before she passed away and added that she has no plans to consume it but will continue to smell it every once in a while.
Kim, who lives in Maryland, told Newsweek: “I initially kept the jar from her fridge because I knew gochujang isn’t something that spoils quickly and she had made it recently. But I became more protective of it when I remembered how proud she was the day she told me she’d made it.”
Approximately 30.8 percent of people in the United States have lost their biological mother, according to the United States Census Bureau. Slightly more (39.8%) have lost their biological father.
When Kyung passed away on April 19, 2021, from lung disease and heart failure, Kim “regretfully” gave away and donated many of her belongings.
Kim recalled: “lung disease had left my mom feeling so weak by then that even simple tasks like cooking were major accomplishments.
“My husband and I used the gochujang for a while, but last year I realized I was reaching the bottom of the jar. I couldn’t bring myself to finish it. It felt like the last meal my mom ever made for me.”
During the clip, Kim jokes “will I fight anyone that tries to throw it away? Yes.”
She told Newsweek: “I moved into my current home after my mom passed so seeing the jar in the fridge is a way of bringing my mom with me.
“Over time, it’s come to represent more than just something she made, it feels like a symbol of her love and strength. It reminds me of her unconditional care, how even when it was hard for her to take care of herself, she still wanted to feed and nurture me. It feels like her way of loving me one last time.”
Kim describes her mom as “beautiful and strong,” she said: “Life dealt her more than her fair share of challenges, but she still moved through the world with grace and gratitude.
“She taught me to lead with kindness and love, even when life felt impossibly hard. I wish more people knew just how loving and generous she was.
“Her absence is a loss not just for me, but for everyone who never got the chance to know her.”
Kim’s video has resonated widely, racking up over 456,000 likes.
“I think your grief is beautiful,” said one comment with more than 25,000 likes.
Other users have shared their stories. One said: “I have one perfectly folded t-shirt left that my mom folded for me. It’s been sitting in my closet untouched for a decade.”
“My mom rolled her hair with rollers every night of her adult life until cancer took her. I still have them in a little cloth bag, and sometimes I open it [because] they still smell like her hair,” said another.
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