Stewart Martin of Mangerton makes an extraterrestrial observation: “In the cold pre-dawn darkness, we walk our dogs at the local park. Aliens (C8) flying over would go elsewhere after witnessing earthlings searching for dog poo with their mobile phones.”
A lack of bags sometimes leads Caz Willis of Bowral to utilise coffee cups from the bin: “Watching an owner let his pooch drop and keep walking, I caught up with him and handed him one. The look on his face told me he’d never ‘scooped’ before. Didn’t see him in the park after that.”
Forget Madeiran boomerangs (C8), Julie Apps of Pemulwuy, holidaying in the UK says, “Imagine my surprise to find berthed beside the royal yacht Britannia in Edinburgh, the Spirit of Tasmania. I gather it’s there because it won’t fit in the new berth in Tasmania and someone won’t pay its parking fees. The guides on Britannia think it’s great because it hides an industrial eyesore.”
With the long weekend approaching, it’s D-Day for the cracker night tales (C8), but not before we hear from Jennifer Richardson of Macmasters Beach: “As a child, we had the largest bonfire in the neighbourhood, built by the kids in the area. Part of the final ceremony was to put an effigy on the top. My brothers decided it should be female and well-dressed. Imagine my mum’s surprise when she saw her favourite dress going up in flames atop the bonfire.”
“In the 1980s, my young brother returned home in the wee hours after a big night out on the turps and messing with bungers,” writes David Ramsay of Bexley. “After putting on a toastie, he fell asleep. Overnight the toaster disintegrated and filled the house with acrid smoke. On awakening, my mother declared: ‘They’re just going to have to ban cracker night!’”
“What a heartless lot these cracker night tragics are (C8)!” affirms Kerrie Wehbe of Blacktown. “All that boys-will-be-boys nostalgia for all that carnage, and not an apology in sight.”
Just regarding all that boys-will-be-boys nostalgia, we’d like to thank Judy Jones, Libby Cameron, Meri Will, Joan Hayward, Rhonda Ellis and Jennifer from Macmasters for their cracker night sagas.
Lesley McBurney of Wavell Heights (Qld) returns to the Baby Book (C8): “I, too, would drive my firstborn to her gran’s to eat brains which I cannot stand. We called it ‘yummy food’, to avoid having to admit what it was.”
Column8@smh.com.au
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