Best friends and stars of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, Mayci Neeley and Mikayla Matthews, recently gave birth to two baby girls.
The names they chose are Charli and Lottie – both derived from the name Charlotte.
The comments on their joint video revealing the babies’ names share a theme: relief – or perhaps barely disguised horror – at the prospect that the two girls, who will likely be raised alongside one another, nearly shared a name.
I mean, can you imagine?
First-born, first-serve basis
It’s not only the TikTok commenters who are up in arms about the complicated world of baby names.
The ethics around “reserving” baby names, and who is entitled to what, is a common question in parenting groups.
Are names on a first-born, first-serve basis, or are friends and family obliged to respect a mom-to-be who has had a name picked out for her baby since before conception?
If a friend, cousin, sibling or colleague has recently had a baby, is it bad form to call your child the same thing?
As far as I’m concerned, all of those questions are moot.
I think anyone should be able to call their baby whatever they like – including if it’s a name which has already been “used” in their circle, either by an adult or another kid.
There’s absolutely no harm in sharing a name.
What’s the harm?
Let’s face it. Unless you’re preparing to give your child a name which nobody else has ever been called – which, by the way, I don’t recommend – they’re more than likely to come up against another kid with the same name eventually.
If you choose a popular name, there might be two or three other kids in their class with the same one. (A friend of mine has shared her trauma about being not only one of six Sarahs at her primary school, but one of two Sarah M’s, meaning she had to go by her middle and last initial from the ages of six to twelve).
In that context, what’s the harm of starting a little earlier?
So what if you and your best friend are strolling the park both gurgling to baby Leos, or if your baby Harriet shares a name with your boss’s kid? Who’s going to complain? Not the babies! (Or the boss, who’ll probably secretly be super flattered that you think she has great taste).
Inevitably, the person you’re so worried about clashing with will either move on from your circle, or move in for good, in which case I can assure you that context clues and nicknames mean that your kids will rarely get confused.
My own experience is strongly in support of the theory that sharing a name with someone isn’t a tragedy.
On the contrary, it can be a gift.
I grew up close friends with another Zoe, and we’ve reconnected in adulthood, so much so that my own kids (thrilled to learn that I have a first name which isn’t “Mummy”) have taken to calling her “the other Zoe”.
I named my son Joe even though I already have a beloved Aunty Jo, because… we really liked the name, and I didn’t think that was a good enough reason not to.
Baby Joe and Aunty Jo get along like a house on fire – in fact, I secretly suspect they have a special Jo-based bond.
Honestly, some people have said that my own name Zoe and my son’s name Joe are too similar. And I’ve got to say, when I see them written down, they probably have a point!
But so what? They’re just names – and from where I’m sitting, it’s way more important to be happy with the name you’ve chosen for your own kid than to spend time worrying about what anyone else is called.
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