A child therapist and mom’s message on what makes a good parent has left internet users in tears.
Jessica VanderWier (@nurturedfirst) shared her reflection on Instagram, which started with the story of a father whose simple phrase—”I’m so glad you told me”—became the thread running through his child’s life.
The narrative followed imagined milestones in a daughter’s life: from breaking a mug at age three, to navigating friendship heartbreaks, to the loneliness of starting university, all anchored by her father’s steady response.
At 30, holding her own baby, she called her dad once again. His words—reminding her that good parenting comes from remembering what she herself once needed as a child—became a realization.
Holding her baby, she whispered the same phrase into tiny ears: “I’m so glad you told me.”
Though the story wasn’t strictly autobiographical, VanderWier explained that it was deeply inspired by the real-life experiences of parents, clients and children she encounters as a psychotherapist.
Many of her posts begin with “I’m … years old” to place readers back into the perspective of a child.
Her goal, she said, is to help parents reconnect with their own childhood memories, because that is often where the key to understanding their children lies.
“I hear from parents all the time about how overwhelmed they are by… information,” VanderWier told Newsweek. “Parents are trying to follow scripts and quick hacks, and when it doesn’t work, it feels like they are failing.”
But when she works with them, the truth is often simpler: most children, in their hardest moments, need the same things their parents once did—someone to hold them, listen, play or guide them gently through fear.
“What if what kids need was super simple? A chance to rest, cry, play… and someone to say, ‘I’m glad you told me’?” VanderWier asked. That sentiment even inspired the name of her practice, Nurtured First.
For parents who want to be that safe place for their child but don’t know where to start, VanderWier suggested a simple exercise: try to imagine what they were like when they were little and ask, what did they need from their parents?
“It was likely something simple—a hug, to feel heard, for them to play with them, or simply coach them through the hard thing,” she said. “Whatever they needed when they were little, is often what their struggling child needs, and what they still need in order to feel better even as a parent now.”
VanderWier’s post has gone viral on Instagram, with over 831,000 likes and thousands of comments at the time of writing, leaving many users in tears.
“Sobbing. This is so beautiful and important,” one user wrote.
“This made me tear up. just spent a weekend with my dad and so, so grateful I have a dad just like this one in the thread,” another added.
Many others shared that they, too, feel overwhelmed by the pressures of modern parenting.
VanderWier said the most touching part of the response was hearing from parents who realized they didn’t need to have all the answers to be “good enough.”
What mattered most was creating a safe space where their children felt heard, believed, and accepted—even in the messy moments.
“My deepest desire is that posts such as these—and many of the other ones I’ve written—will help simplify parenting and help parents tune back in with what they already know,” VanderWier added.
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