When my kids were little, there were no punishments per se in our house, no removing of Pokémon cards or access to MySpace accounts. The saddest thing that could happen when they did something stupid was me cranking out one sentence: “I’m disappointed in you.”
Magic! Nothing worse than Ma not thinking you’re perfect. The effect of disappointment on behaviour was so powerful I’m bringing it back here as a public service.
Kids, no metaphorical ear boxing for you this time. Instead – and this gives me no pleasure – Karl Stefanovic, geez I’m disappointed in you.
There’s a thing Karl can do that almost nobody else in Australian telly can – Larry Emdur aside, obviously. And he did it so long and so effortlessly I reckon even he doesn’t get how rare it is.
Karl can make you forget he’s rich and powerful. A very cool trick.
For decades, Karl has had a life of terrific comfort and privilege. But somehow it was still impossible to resent him, to think he was up himself, even when he’d rock around in the Range Rover in the RM Williams boots.
Because in a medium chock-a-block with people performing relatability, Karl legitimately was relatable.
Think his post-Logies hangovers, being caught in the cross-fire when his mate Michael Clarke got a public pasting, laughing like a drain at stuff that wasn’t that funny until Karl somehow made it funny.
When Nine axed him from Today in 2018 after “Ubergate” – again, relatable, gossiping about a colleague in a ride-share car – and the fallout from an ugly divorce, I went into bat for him.
It seemed mad that we loved Karl for being fallible and normal, then when he actually was, we couldn’t stand him. He was still our best television presenter, but middle Australia got all judgey and applied a moral prism to a private life they knew nothing about.
TV bosses listened and Karl got some thinking time in the wilderness.
Now he seems to be heading back there, only this time by choice. And I wonder if he can see the forest for the trees.
“Karlos”, the people’s BFF, has struck a deal with Nine to axe his lucrative contract after months of pushing the boundaries and his luck. First returns for effort: being offered a One Nation job by Pauline Hanson and being dubbed “Karl Bogan” in an homage to US right-wing podcast host Joe Rogan.
Yep, sweet Betty White on a bike.
Karl’s always understood the compact with his audience. Warmth, not friction. Curiosity, not grievance. Yet he launched The Karl Stefanovic Show as an independent podcast with Hanson as the first guest.
Follow that with a social media post backing Ben Roberts-Smith, whose alleged war crimes were revealed by this masthead, which is owned by Karl’s own employer.
Then a back-slapping podcast with Tommy Robinson, the repellent British far-right and anti-Islam activist with an extensive criminal record for violence, fraud and contempt of court.
Karl praised Robinson’s “tenacity” and “courage” in the podcast, which has now disappeared from his YouTube channel.
When Robinson said Muslims in Britain had been “terrorising our country for decades” and were “doing it now in Australia”, the comments went unchallenged by a Gold Logie winner unafraid to go toe-to-toe with PMs. Instead, “God, I love you,” Karl said.
Nobody wakes up and decides to become Darth Vader. It happens one move at a time. Karl seems to have willingly launched his own Anakin Skywalker arc.
As The Betoota Advocate put it, “Unshackled Karl Stefanovic now free to interview Martin Bryant for his side of the story.” Boom.
I’m trying to pinpoint why Dark Side Karl feels so unedifying. Maybe because he’s leveraging something most of us in media would swap our contact books for: trust.
He didn’t need to shock us into watching and listening.
I think I’m struggling not with who you’re talking to – broad coverage is your job – but how you’re doing it. You’re using that rare thing, your relatability, to make people who trade in division seem like terrific company.
Karl, the disappointed mum speech only works if you know you can do better. That’s why I’m giving it to you.
Kate Halfpenny is an author and the founder of Bad Mother Media.
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